|
|
Ratty Messages
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
Recent Photos/Videos
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Recent 'Just Chat'
|
|
|
|
|
If you need help, or have questions, comments or suggestions, please post in the Rat-Terrier.com Info and Help forum.
General Moderators:
Lance
Morgan
Tracey
Training Moderator:
Nora
|
|
You're Not Alone
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rat-Terrier.com
|
|
|
| Author |
Messages |
|
Crystal
Ratastic
 |
| 05/15/2008 12:48 PM |
|
| The divorce was do to use fighting all the time, he says it was because I wasted all the money I was making on crap, still haven't figured that out. The people he was friends with where bad druggies and I dind't want them around our family he didn't understand that, and he spent 3/4 of his time at home playing WOW or World of Warcraft, still dose. But things are just going back to the way they where, I just can't stand the thought of giving up, because I do love him, but it is like we have both told each other love can't fix every thing. I do understand that he is younger than me and yes us having Regan when he was 19 and I was 21 has made things very difficult on us. I couldn't move on before I don't know if I can now, expecally having no support, my sister and I get along great but when it comes to relationships she just isn't who I need to support me, she isn't the type that allows greiving would just tell me find someone new, and after almost 6 years that isn't an easy thing to do. I thought I would get through today with out crying, but I'm seeing things from every point of view and wish there was an easy fix for this. |
|
Mom to Guenhwyvar, When life gets hard, take a long hot bath and enjoy knowing the door locks and your phone is on silent!!
|
|
|
swatson6
Attention Starved
|
| 05/15/2008 12:57 PM |
|
| Maybe your sister is right though...about finding someone new. It's never easy, but living your life this way isn't either, as you have found out. Better to make a hard decision now then regret it later in your life and wish you hadn't wasted so much time. You're young. Think about what you really want and what your goals are and if he really will fit in and help. Be honest with yourself and you will do the right thing. |
|
Sarah
|
|
|
DaisysMom
Moderator
|
| 05/15/2008 1:04 PM |
|
Ahhh, Crystal. I'm sorry. Life sure does stink sometimes. First, your sister is wrong. You don't need to find anyone else. You need to be able to stand on your own. Even those of us with supportive families and/or partners, need to know we could, if necessary, go it alone. You have your daughter to think about and what she is learning from what she is seeing.
You're 24 and have your whole life in front of you. Your daughter is about 3, right? It's time to do some serious soul-searching, develop a plan of attack, and go to it. It won't be easy. Most times we can't get to anywhere worthwhile without suffering first, but that's no excuse not to try and get there anyway. You can be a success and you can stand on your own and be strong and independent. You may have to eat ramen noodles and drive a complete clunker held together with JB Weld and a prayer for a while, but YOU CAN DO IT!!!
I'm a big proponent of pulling yourself up by the bootstraps and getting on with getting on. Many, many people have no families, no support system, those people unfortunately have to be their own strongest ally. But if you pay close attention you will find that there are people - random people - who will pop in and out of your life that have something of value to add, that you can lean on when needed. They don't have to be family, or your spouse. Hell, sometimes the guy that pours our coffee is the one that cheers us up when we most need it.
Find help where you can. Have a plan. Learn to count on yourself. And think of your daughter.
It will work out if you work at it.  |
|
Tracey - Darlin' Daisy's Mom
|
|
|
Crystal
Ratastic
|
| 05/15/2008 1:38 PM |
|
| Yeah tonight after work I'm going to try to talk to him about all of this yet again I hope that things work out but if not, only time will tell. And atleast I have all of you to cry to if in a few months every thing dose fall apart I'm sure Alot of my up and coming post won't be happy go lucky but, I will try to do some nice pictures and stuff. Thank you all for some out side input. |
|
Mom to Guenhwyvar, When life gets hard, take a long hot bath and enjoy knowing the door locks and your phone is on silent!!
|
|
|
dtls224
Terrier Terror
|
| 05/15/2008 2:32 PM |
|
Crystal,
The pains sound like the begginnings of panic attacks. I know how you are feeling. When I was in my mid 20's I lived with my parents, my children and my ex husband. It reached the point of no return in my marriage and my family would not make him leave.........I will not go into any more of it here....but what I can say is that you need to take your life in control........if not for you than for your daughter........being the way that your life is right not it is not healthy for you or her.........With my former marriage I realized that staying in it was killing me and i had to leave it to make me better which made me a better mother........You have to look inside of yourself and find the right answer for you and your daughter........I am sorry if this sounds harsh,,,,it was not meant to......The answer is there, some where.......and you CAN find it........Blessings to you...... |
|
tina224...live...laugh...love...and bark at the moon
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." ~Unknown |
|
|
Amy
Rat-A-Tat-Tat
|
| 05/15/2008 3:10 PM |
|
Oh my Tracey. Your last post on this really moved me. Very well put. Crystal I cannot imagine what you are going through. Geez it just hit me that I was 25 when I left my first husband with my then 1 yr old daughter. I however had the support of my family. Kailey and I moved in with my parents while I worked and put money aside to set up an apartment for her and I. You know what? Those were the BEST years of my life. The two years that it was just Kailey and I in our apartment. I love my husband and our two kids that we have together, but I can't tell you how good it felt to be on my own w/ Kailey. I can understand wanting to work it out w/ Regan's Dad for the sake of her. But......are you teaching her that it is okay to sacrifice your own happiness, mental/physical health? Please, please think this over. I mean if he won't even LISTEN to your concerns than how can you have a relationship? Let us know how you are okay? I'm really worried about you. If you want you can PM me your email address and we can use email to keep in touch. Crystal, Tracey was right. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! |
|
thecunninghams5.shutterfly.com |
|
|
daisydeux
Ratastic
|
| 05/16/2008 7:32 AM |
|
Ditto re: Tracey's last post. the biggest gift for you & your daughter is your independence |
|
|
|
|
dnorton
Obsessed
|
| 05/16/2008 7:58 AM |
|
| I agree with tracey. It will work if you work it. I also know that if "you keep doing what you've always done, you're always gonna get what you've always gotten" You can't change him, but you CAN change yourself! |
|
Mimzy's Mom
RatBones Rescue Foster Mom
That Big Tall Gal Jay Married
Mother of Two
GrandMother of Three
Gardener
Ponder |
|
|
Amy
Rat-A-Tat-Tat
|
| 05/16/2008 11:06 AM |
|
Posted By dnorton on 05/16/2008 7:58 AM
I agree with tracey. It will work if you work it. I also know that if "you keep doing what you've always done, you're always gonna get what you've always gotten" You can't change him, but you CAN change yourself!
EXACTLY!!!!!!
|
|
thecunninghams5.shutterfly.com |
|
|
Crystal
Ratastic
|
| 05/18/2008 9:30 PM |
|
| Okay for every one who has read this and has given thier advice I"ll have a full update for you tommorrow. |
|
Mom to Guenhwyvar, When life gets hard, take a long hot bath and enjoy knowing the door locks and your phone is on silent!!
|
|
|
|
| You are not authorized to post a reply. |
|
|
|
ActiveForums 3.7
|
|
|
|