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Lucy's Colleen

Bratty Ratty

04/13/2007 5:03 AM
Please don't read if you are judgmental! I honestly mean this and have brought up similar topics before. What am I supposed to do when I have lost respect for some of my "close" friends. Most of you know of my past, or at least have been hinted towards it. Well, it has confronted me tonight. I was invited up to a party at an apartment with my old roommate, of 4 yrs ago, and a friend that was my ex'0s best friend. I thought we were going up there for normal fun, possibly drinks, but when we reach the apartment other things were offered. I told them that I could not stay and that I was going to leave. The new guy told me that he would give me a ride, but I told him I didn't care and wanted nothing to do with what was going on. I literally ran out of the apartment building which is above the downtown bars. I had my friends wife pick me up and told her what her husband was in to. They won't answer my phone calls but I have left them messages about how they have lost my respect. I know I need to get rid of these friends. I did just though get a call from the other friend who walked away. He is the important one. We have had a good talk and I hope he understand where I am coming from. I have lost too many friends and don't want to lose any more. He doesn't have the background I do and I hope that one day he will understand that drugs to no good. They are not productive and will bring you nowhere. I honestly am sorry about bringing this topic to this forum, but don't really have anywhere to express these feelings. I feel that I express all my feelings on this forum, including my love for my pups Lucy, but there are more feelings to me than just her. Don't tell her that though. She is my life because I do have to deal with so much outside. She is the one that keeps me solid and honest. She makes me happy when I'm depressed. That is why I come to you. This website brings me happiness throughout whatever I have to deal with because I know one thing is certain, all of us have so much love for our dogs. People think I'm crazy, but really Lucy is the only thing that keeps me sane. I don't know how many people have asked me about how I "deal" with Lucy's energy and I tell them that I would not have it any other way. She makes me forget about the evils around me and lets me appreciate the innocent. So, if anyone wants to judge me against all the troubles I bring to this site, I just want to let them know that Lucy is the one that keeps the sanity and the love in my life. She is the one that keeps me going.

Colleen Flickr account: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7797281@N05/

Paul

Feisty

04/13/2007 5:25 AM
Good for you, Colleen. Just the fact that your eyes are open wide enough to see what it is doing and potentially CAN do to your friends is a blessing. Not everyone is into that scene. I remember when I started going to church and gave my life to the Lord, and all of a sudden, all my "rowdy friends" acted as though I had the plague because I didnt want to do the things they were still doing---and, I'm not proud to say this, but I was right there doing it with them. Funny thing is, when the old friends seem to disappear because you no longer have that one commom bond that they think is the most important one (but you know that it ISN'T) new friends seem to come along that you CAN share good times with and have just as much fun with that feel the same way you do about staying away from the drug scene. Hang in there, girl. You're on the right trail!:)

"Train now, or forever hold your leash" http://www.flickr.com/photos/doberdad/

Katie'sMom

Newbie

04/13/2007 7:18 AM
Colleen, sounds to me like these folks are not friends. There are true friends, there are fair weather friends and there are friends who are only friends on their terms and that means you behaving on their level. In my opinon, the latter two I mentioned are not friends. You have outgrown your "friends" it seems to me. Good for you. Time to find new friends that share your views and moral standards. Very good for you! They are out there. Life is ever changing and evolving -- you are making positive moves and sometimes that means leaving old ways behind. As Paul said, new friends will come. I admire your strength of character!

Pamiknows

Rat-A-Tat-Tat

04/13/2007 7:20 AM
I am SO proud of you girlfriend!! You don't realize just how much character and integrity you showed by what you did!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pamiknows/ Somedays it's just not worth chewing thru the restraints.

Mitzy's Mom

PAWesome

04/13/2007 7:23 AM
Exactly right - new friends will come and they will be genuine friends! And Colleen, no here is judging you. Most of us have been through tough times (I've been married 3 times and the 2nd husband turned into a total pothead....I'm sure not proud of that!). So hang in there and keep hugging your Lucy really tight!

Mary Beth, mom to the Lollipop Kids Georgia Foster Mom, www.newrattitude.org Pics of my current fosters: http://imageevent.com/newrattitude/caradoc http://imageevent.com/newrattitude/willow http://imageevent.com/newrattitude/fiona

Brandy

Firehouse Big Dog

04/13/2007 7:31 AM
Colleen... I love you girl!! You are a very smart and wonderful woman. My parents used to party HARD...I've only recently learned about how HARD my Daddy used to party. My mom says that if she could change one thing in her life, it would be the amount of time she wasted partying. She wouldn't change the partying itself because it taught her some important and hard lessons, but she would change how long it took her to "get" those lessons. Some of this partying ended up costing my Daddy two years with my family. 10yrs after he stopped, he was charged with conspiracy to traffic cocaine...from 10yrs before!!! Thankfully, even though he did pull time, the judge was lenient on him because he had turned his life around. My parents started going to church, got saved, and now...they are the owners of a company that did over $2mil in sales last year, my mom drives her dream car..a black on black 740i BMW, my Daddy can shop ebay until his little heart is content...life is good!! Now, their biggest problem is Daddy's midlife crisis....he has taken to working in his woodshop all the time and smoking cigars (he's NEVER smoked cigarettes or cigars before....) Your life is what YOU make it. Your past should never make you feel less than what you are, pasts are just that....they are the past. Your friends will wake up one day and realize that you are right. Some of my parents friends have just recently come to that conclusion and they are beginning to rebuild some old friendships, but in a healthy way. :)

This is Pirate Country, we bleed Purple and Gold!!!!! GO ECU!!!

erniebenernie

Bratty Ratty

04/13/2007 8:16 AM
Colleen You never have to be afraid to make your feeling known here. Hopefully it's a little therapy just to write it down. Those are not your friends, anyone with an addiction wants you to be with them. It justifies there behavior. My son David is 24 yrs old and had to tell a childhood friend that he couldn't see him anymore, their (son and wife) lives were moving in different directions. His friend told him he stopped drinking and David told him, you always stop drinking. It was a few days later that his friend got stopped for a dwi while speeding in his car. My son and his wife couldn't have him in their life anymore. I'm so proud that the were honest and made the decision to cut off the ties. That's what you had to do. I'm proud you were able to do the same. You have such a strong character and you will be amazed how many positive people you will attract in your life with that strong conviction.

Vicki

DaisysMom

Moderator
<b>Moderator</b>

04/13/2007 8:22 AM
Colleen: Again, you sound like a bright and responsible young lady. These "friends" of yours are no longer who you want to be associated with and you are taking the right steps in your life to grow and move on. You are going to meet new friends who share the things that interest you as well as your values and morals - they're out there, trust me... You should be proud of yourself !!!!!

Tracey - Darlin' Daisy's Mom

mario07

Bratty Ratty

04/13/2007 8:23 AM
Ditto what everyone else said. I used to be a kindergarten teacher (imagine that !!) and it was at a time when I was coming out of that whole partying scene. I made some bad decisions but figured out very quickly that what I was doing was self destructive. I would go to work and look into those little faces and felt ashamed of myself. I turned myself around and have never looked back. No, my old friends are no longer my friends and I'm grateful for it. Some of them (15 yrs later) are STILL doing some of those things!! Their lives are a mess... I look back and thank God that I am no longer 'stuck'. You did the absolute right thing and I'm so proud of you! No one here has a right to judge...no one is perfect and we've all messed up in one way or another. Chin up, focus on your career, and if you ever become weak...just look into the eyes of a child and see that you are an influence in his/her life... that should do the trick!! ;)

~~Shannon, Mario and Pepper's mom!~~

PamWh

Rattitude Problem

04/13/2007 8:47 AM
Colleen, I have a son who was into the drug scene in high school. It caused us immense heartache to see him destroying himself. Right before his graduation, he finally hit bottom and decided to clean up. We talked to him and made him understand that he couldn't stay clean if he continued to hang around with the same people. He made new friends, people with the same beliefs and goals, people who know you can have fun and enjoy life without drugs. He was lucky enough to have a girlfriend, now fiancee, stand by him; but it was a near thing. I'm so proud of him now! I'm proud of you too, for having the courage to leave that party.

PamWh aka Bob's Mom If your rattie ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Lucy's Colleen

Bratty Ratty

04/13/2007 11:28 AM
Thank you. Like I told my friend's wife, who was the other guy who walked away that I thought was going to be partaking in these activities, I may not be a religous person, but I have extremely strong morals. Some issues are just black and white for me. The two friends did later call and apologize. One, called while things were going on to tell me that he didn't do anything and also walked out because what he thought was being offered turned out to be worse. I told him it is a respect issue. I lose all respect for anyone who does these things. I have seen too many people screw up their lives and honestly don't see why anyone at our age would do anything like that. We are not 18 any more, that was a long time ago. Thank you for listening to my venting.

Colleen Flickr account: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7797281@N05/

Sassy'sMama

Firehouse Big Dog

04/13/2007 1:36 PM
Good Girl Colleen! If I had all the money back that I spent on "weed" back in the 70's I could probably pay off my truck... I can't change that now, just look to my bright future.....

~~Jan~~ Mama to Sassy www.marykay.com/janetkimberlin (free shipping)

JustAmy

Rat Royalty

04/13/2007 1:45 PM
I was there a few years back... I was the outta control talk show girl until one day. I just did not anwser the phone when I saw who was calling. I did not go to the door when I saw who was standing on the otherside it. To this day when I see someone I advoided so long ago I turn around and walk away. And if they see me and know who I am... Well, I just tell them "who?" "sorry you must have the wrong person". I knew my life was going the wrong way and did not want to end up a statistic in life. So I took the problem away... Them... To this day I am really careful on who I let into my life as friends because it was really hard to let go of people I knew for such a long time but it was for the better. It is my life. Stay Strong!!!

My home is not complete without my Rattie tat tat feet... www.myspace.com/justamyy79

Katie'sMom

Newbie

04/13/2007 1:52 PM
I have a nephew who is in Federal prison for drugs -- he has been there two years and has to serve five more. His little girl will be 14 when he is released. Look at what he is missing out on. Look at what pain he has caused her. One more charge and he would have gotten 30 years. I hope this has scared him straight. When my sister was here a couple of weeks ago we visited him in prison. I told him I hoped he would take this bad experience and turn it into something good, well at least make the best of it, and sign up for classes so that when he is released he can make something of himself -- that his daughter was counting on him. My sister called last night that he called her and told her he had signed up. Yippee!!! I hope he can turn his life around.

rattytatty

Newbie

04/13/2007 2:01 PM
Colleen... I am proud of you. We all need a support system, and if we can somehow provide that for you... then I'm certainly proud to be a part of that too! Good for you for setting boundaries for yourself. I used to let people take advantage of me...but I don't anymore. I have set some solid boundaries for myself. If people are ok with that... it's fine. If they aren't... that's fine too! Sounds like you've done the same thing. These boundaries (dividing lines) sometimes need to be set between you and others...sometimes even a loved one. The line represents both physical and emotional limits others may not VIOLATE. A boundary, when crossed by others, will create intense feelings of anger, hurt, outrage, etc. To set your boundaries is to stop anyone, even your most loved one in certain instances, from crossing the line with you. Setting boundaries is not disrespectful, bad or wrong. In fact, boundaries make you feel SAFE in your environment and actually prevent you from being hurt. Personal boundaries are healthy and good for you. Setting boundaries raises your sense of self-worth, your self-esteem, because you are sending yourself the message that you are WORTHY of care. Colleen, I think it's good that you are attempting to "educate" people in your life about your boundaries! Big hugs from me!~

Lucy's Colleen

Bratty Ratty

04/13/2007 2:23 PM
Thanks you guys. I have learned that I am completely easy to read. If somethings on my mind everybody knows by just looking at me. So I guess as I grow to I have been just opening my mouth more and speaking out. If someone is doing something I don't like you better believe that I am going to say something about it if it is bothering me. My mom always asks how I got to be so grown up and rational. My sister and brother are not the least bit rational and so I am the one she goes to when she is dealing with issues in her life. Of course though I shelter her from these types of problems.

Colleen Flickr account: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7797281@N05/

Sassy'sMama

Firehouse Big Dog

04/14/2007 4:43 AM
My Sons first wife is doing 20 years in prison for Coke related things... My oldest Grandson will be in his 30's when she gets out.... He is now 15!! This has been hard on him , and he is messing up pretty bad right now... I can only hope that he straightens up soon, or Nana is gonna kick his booty..

~~Jan~~ Mama to Sassy www.marykay.com/janetkimberlin (free shipping)

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