......I know we have been round and round on this topic but I'm bringing it up again. Last Fall, Winter, and Spring I was going to the gym and working out really hard. I LOVED what it did for my body but I got tired of hauling myself in there. It's hard with 3 kids, a husband that works lousy hours(therefore isn't around to help) and the price of gas. I just got tired of it. SO......over the Summer I lost ALL that muscle mass and put on 10 lbs. It stinks. I really liked my body the way it was. But I really just don't feel like going to the gym anymore. I plan to TRY doing some stuff at home. Thing is I'm not a good self motivator. Also whatever I do at home won't have the same effect as the weight training I was doing at the gym. Larry never actually says in so many words that he doesn't like my body this way. But it is DEFINITELY implied in many ways. I have tried to tell him how much that hurts me. He suggests I go to the gym. Thanks for the support dear. So all my clothes are to tight, uncomfortable and don't look good. Do I pick up some new clothes for my new rounder, softer body? Or do I wear sweats and tees in the hopes I will loose some weight and inches? God, sometimes I HATE being a woman! Maybe if Larry would say he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful no matter how I look this would be easier on me.

Amy,

No matter what your hubby says, you gotta love yourself for YOU no matter WHAT your size.  You're talkin to someone who's been large her entire life... and struggles with the weight issue every day, so I can totally relate to what you're saying.  Try not to depend on someone else to make you feel good about you... feel good about yourself because YOU want to and YOU deserve it! 

Okay so how about this? Let's say I just accept my body, buy new clothes and live with it. What do I do about the fact that my husband doesn't like my body? Sure easy to say that it's his problem not mine. But, we're MARRIED. If he doesn't like my body that leaves out a BIG part of marriage. Catch my drift? Plus it just makes me feel lousy knowing he doesn't like how I look. So what am I supposed to do about him?

oh i totally agree... my wife is sooo uncomfortable about herself she doesnt want to be intimate because it disgustys her... so you are afraid to disgust him... well... i would say that your decision automatically should take your husband/marriage into consideration... you cant be comfortable with yourself knowing your husband isnt... and tehn your hubby needs to learn what unconditional love is too... if/when my wife has our 1st child and if at that time she gains and doenst lose the weight am i supposed to not love her/leave her or cheat on her?! NO!

i know many men dont think my way... but they should.... i would talk to your hubby and tell him how you feel about YOURSELF... nothing about what he makes you feel or anything... make it about you... ask him for help because YOU need to do it for you, etc... WE NEVER LIKE TO BE AT FAULT OR THE CAUSE OF THINGS!!! we feel attacked...

but again i truly think that if you decide to say i am happy and go buy new clothes you shouldnt have to fear what your husbands reaction should be... you should feel comfortable enough in that decision knwoing he is by your side no matter what... but i guess its not a perfect world.

Braeli-Brysons dad, what is your name anyway? Thank you for the mans point of view. You are being very helpful. As far as intimacy issues. It's not MY issue. Regardless of my body or how I feel about it I'm human. Ya know? It's his issue. I'm basically ignored. Not even a kiss goodnight. When I try to tell him how this makes me feel I think I am making it about me. Not attacking him. Crap. This just bites. I don't know what else to do to get through to him. It's like, "HELLO!!!! I'm 34 and I've had 3 kids! I'm not 19. I'm doing the best I can!"

 Thanks Lynn. For some reason that struck me really funny.

Gianni btw... and no problem! im guessing my wife isnt human... no matter how much her "urge" is she isnt comfortable... there are a few things that add to it for us though on her side she needs to deal with 1st... so i try to be understanding...

how do you do this? did this change because of your weight or even when you had your 1st child? think about that... just a rule of thumb about men... and something to think about.... WE WANT SEX NO MATTER WHAT... NO MATTER WHO... im sorry but i think there is something ELSE going on and it has nothing to do with your weight. just my opinion.

LOVE IS BLIND!

as for what some others have said... a rough day at work, emotional/mental stresses outside the house (work) can change things greatly. i cant leave work at work... but i have a 30min commute so by the time i am home i am mostly destressed... give him the benefit too... pointing fingers doesnt help... and I AM WITH YOU ON THE 2x A YEAR THING!!! lol

go shopping... be moderate in how much you spend/buy... you never know what can happen... who likes salad? eat everything... but eat in small portions... and snack on fruits or something small every 3-4 hours to keep your metabalism up... i used to be big into physical training... its good to do this... and the only excersize you need to do is cardio so anything that gets your muscels involved and your heart rate up.

good luck!

LOL, I can just see this as the new "love store" logo!!!!

With 3 kids, a rattie, and a cat....I can't imagine how Amy will be able to find quality time for her new "friend."   

 You guys are KILLING me here! I'm laughing so hard I just snorted! My kids keep saying, "What?, What Mom?, What's so funny?". Like I can tell them. I can see the point of, if my self esteem is low then I am not going to be attractive. Point taken. I SO wish I had room for a home gym. But I don't. Portion control and I do not get along. I am going to spend moderately tomorrow. I am VERY frugal/thrifty. Gym time was MY time. It's the trying to get there that makes it too stressful to enjoy. I too do NOT condone cheating. Don't get me wrong. I am very lonely and feeling VERY neglected and yeah the thought DOES cross my mind from time to time. But I could NEVER, EVER do that. And Larry isn't a total jerk. This is just one of our really big issues. Also, I have been told that I have body dismorphic disorder. I see something different than what is really there. I am 5'9" and last Winter I was a size 6. Relatively thin right? I still was not happy. So no matter what size I am. I STILL hate my body. As far as a "friend", I have considered it but really.....it's not quite the same.

Ohhh, but Amy, nobody knows you like you!! Oh, I am still cracking up over that!! I even called my mom and we were cracking up saying they should be teaching that at sex ed classes all over the high schools. Braeli_Bryson that made my day today!!

Kailey and Dillon are in school all day but Jenna is only in preschool 2 days a week for 3 hrs. One of those 2 days is grocery day. A day not to be messed with ya know? That leaves one day for anything else that I may need to get done without dragging a 4 yr old with me.

amy... its better than nothing!!!! and at 5'9" and a size 8-10 can still be attractive!!!! what size were you when you married (if you dont mind me asking)....?

alice's mom (what is your name?).... glad to help!!!!

My name is Valerie. OMG, I was giggling all night at that line. It struck me as so cute and funny!

I have to say about the whole weight thing. I am not thin by any means but I am not extremely overweight either. I think I could afford to lose 15 pounds but I like myself and my life. We are cookers and eaters in our house. We have friends and family over and we cook and we eat well. I make sure to walk the dogs 2x a day and we are doers too so we are not just sitting around. Does Guy want me to lose weight and be super skinny, probably. BUT we have fun together more than anything and that involves food so I think the having fun with each other is more important than the weight.