FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER..
8 years old. Hateful little b******. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog . . able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK. $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES. California grown - 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one:

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer...No longer needed. Got married last month.

Wife knows everything.