1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
3. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
4. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
5. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.
6. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
7. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
8. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
9. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
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