You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and
> Costello, and too old to REALLY understand
> computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us
> who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please
> read on...
>
> If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today,
> their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have
> turned out something like this:
>
> COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
>
> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>
> COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den
> and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
>
> ABBOTT: Mac?
>
> COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
>
> ABBOTT: Your computer?
>
> COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
>
> ABBOTT: Ma c?
>
> COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
>
> ABBOTT: What about Windows?
>
> COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
>
> ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
>
> COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look
> at the windows?
>
> ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
>
> COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
> and software.
>
> ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
>
> COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I
> can use to write proposals, track expenses and run
> my business. What do you have?
>
> ABBOTT: Office.
>
> COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
> anything?
>
> ABBOTT: I just did.
>
> COSTELLO: You just did what?
>
> ABBOTT: Recommend something.
>
> COSTELLO: You recommended something?
>
> ABBOTT: Yes.
>
> COSTELLO: For my office?
>
> ABBOTT: Yes.
>
> COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
>
> ABBOTT: Office.
>
> COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
>
> ABBOTT: I recommend Office wi th Windows.
>
> COSTELLO: I already have an o ffice with windows!
> OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I
> want to type a proposal. What do I need?
>
> ABBOTT: Word.
>
> COSTELLO: What word?
>
> ABBOTT: Word in Office.
>
> COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
>
> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>
> COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
>
> ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue
> 'W'.
>
> COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you
> don't start with some straight answers. What about
> financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track
> my money with?
>
> ABBOTT: Money.
>
> COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
>
> ABBOTT: Money.
>
> COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
>
> ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
>
> COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
>
> ABBOTT: Money.
>
> COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
>
> ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
>
> COSTELL O: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
> Ho w much?
>
> ABBOTT: One copy.
>
> COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
>
> ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
>
> COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
>
> ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
>
> (A few days later)
>
> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>
> COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
>
> ABBOTT: Click on 'START'..... ........