Farmer John vs. Mrs. Farmer John...

A farmer walks into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asks, “May I help you?”

The farmer says, “Yeah. I want to get one of those dee-vorces.”

The attorney asks, “Well, do you have any grounds?”

The farmer replies, “Yeah. I got about 140 acres.”

The attorney says, “No, you don’t understand. Do you have a case?”

The farmer says, “No, I don’t have a Case, but I have a John Deere.”

The attorney says, “No you don’t understand, I mean do you have a grudge?”

The farmer says, “Yeah, I got a grudge. That’s where I park my John Deere.”

The attorney says, “No, sir, I mean do you have a suit?”

The farmer says, “Yessir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.”

The exasperated attorney says, “Well, sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?”

The farmer says, “No, sir, we both get up about 4:30.”

Finally, the attorney asks, “Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?”

And the farmer replies, “Well, I cain't never have a meaningful conversation with her!”