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Subject: The Funny Poems Thread
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Author Messages
PamWh


Attention Starved
Attention Starved
03/06/2008 12:14 PM  

Let's cheer ourselves up with some funny, but clean, poetry.  I'll start.

There once was a feisty young terrier,
Who liked to bite girls on the derrière.
He'd yip and he'd yap,
Then he'd leap up and snap;
And the fairer the derrière, the merrier.

 

Author Unknown


PamWh
aka Bob's Mom

If your rattie ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
swatson6


Attention Starved
Attention Starved
03/06/2008 12:19 PM  

  

 

Don't smell crotches, don't eat plants.
Don't steal food or underpants.
Don't eat my socks, don't grab my hair...
DON'T RIP THE STUFFING FROM THAT CHAIR!
Don't eat those peas, don't touch that bush,
Don't chew my shoes, what IS this mush?!?
Eat your cookies, drink your drink,
Outta the toilet! Outta the sink!
AWAY FROM THE LITTER BOX, IT'S FOR THE CAT!
(and must you kiss me after that?!?)
Raising a puppy is not for the lazy,
Those rugrats are funny but also quite crazy.
Don't despair through the toil and the strife,
'Cause after three years you'll get back your life!
So let's go for walkies, so you can do your "thing",
And maybe I'll get back my good diamond ring!

Author Unknown


Sarah



PamWh


Attention Starved
Attention Starved
03/06/2008 12:28 PM  

Puppy Love

Dolores had been on her own for a while, since Herbie had cashed in his chips.
Just lately, a friend gave Dolores a pup, returning a smile to her lips.

She'd taken this pup for a trip to the vet for some needles, becoming quite vexed
when the vet tried to tell her that her little pet might be better off desexed.

'It keeps all the male dogs away' said the Doc, but thinking this may not be so,
Dolores' opinion, as firm as a rock, was that he was just after more dough.

The following night in the moonlight she saw a male dog approaching her bitch.
She watched from her window, but couldn't ignore the signs that both dogs had that itch.

They were at it in less than a tick, so she grabbed a large broom and rushed out.
The dogs both ignored it, which made her feel sick, as she looked for what else was about.

She filled a large vase, which she tipped on the pair but this only made them both wet.
As the big dog kept at it, Dolores' despair had her anxiously phoning that vet.

She told him her story, then asked what to do. The vet said she might like to try
yelling out to her pup, 'There's a phone call for you' Dolores, amazed, asked him 'Why,

do you think that will work?' and at this time of the night it's offensive, I'm sure you'll agree,
for a man like a vet to be so impolite as to say 'Well, it just worked with me'. 


PamWh
aka Bob's Mom

If your rattie ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
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Forums > Miscellaneous and Off-Topic > Jokes & Humor > The Funny Poems Thread



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