Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.  You will see no cutesy little smiley faces - just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry so-and-so who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in. 

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the heck away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy @ss.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;

'because you are my friend'.