PLEASE USE THIS THREAD FOR POSTING CAMPAIGN SPEECHES, PRESS RELEASES, CORRESPONDENCE, ETC.  GRAPHICS SUCH AS CAMPAIGN POSTERS, VIDEOS AND BUMPER STICKERS SHOULD GO UNDER THE ORIGINAL CAMPAIGN THREAD.

***************************************************************************************************************************************************************

***************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Katie Scarlett  Promises No Rattie Belle Will Ever Have  to Tear Down  Mother’s Draperies Again

In a major campaign speech, Katie Scarlett made the following announcement:

“When I become President, my first act will be to promise (cross my heart and hope to die) that Rattie belles across this great land (yes, even Yankee-Land) will have the material they need for dress-making, never again having to tear down our mother’s beautiful draperies.  And not just green material.  Because, even though green looks lovely on me (well, all colors look lovely on me), not every Rattie belle looks good in green. Now just take Little Miss Princess Emma as an example. One must admit that pink is her color. Why, she just wouldn’t look as sweet in green.  In my administration, Little Miss Princess Emma will have her pink dress material!  In fact, every Rattie belle will have their Rattie material in any color they choose!

Rattie beaus, you may ask, “just what is Katie Scarlett doing for us?”  Fiddle-dee-dee, you silly men.  What better thing could I do for you then to insure your little belles are as pretty as

magnolias in bloom the next time you escort them to a ball or a picnic?

Taxes, budgets, dog food prices – bor--ing.  Oh, I suppose as president, I will have to worry my pretty little head about those type of things at some point, but I do have my priorities in order. I’ll think about those things tomorrow, after all, tomorrow is another day.  But for now, rest assured I’m on the job.”

When asked about this policy announcement, Dixie Pride, Katie Scarlett’s Campaign Manager just rolled her eyes and stated, “A Vote for Katie Scarlett is a Wasted Vote”.  Just WHAT is this campaign all about?  Katie Scarlett seems quite confident but, frankly my dear, the rest of us don’t give a  d***.  

Katie Scarlett appreciates Nora considering her offer and the advice on Rhett.  Honestly, KS has been negotiating with Rhett regarding a position in her administration, but they have a very volatile relationship.  One minute she is flirting away with him and the next she is barking and snipping.  Honestly, if she had an opposable thumb, I do believe she would throw knick-knacks at him!  Tell Miss Nora that KS has found that the ear war thing adds cuteness and distinctiveness.    Have fun on vacation. 

My Dear Miss Princess Emma,

As I’m sure you are aware, I am running for Rattie President.  This is a most important job, one for which I am surely overly qualified being so full of charm and grace.  I am now working on putting together a Cabinet in anticipation of being elected to this most prestigious of jobs.  Of course your name came to mind when I thought of whom I should choose for my Secretary of Cuteness.  Why who else would I ever hope to have in this office but sweet little Miss Princess Emma.  You are such a preciously cute little thang (oops, I mean thing).  I would be ever so honored if you would consider this appointment to my Cabinet when I am elected, which I am sure will happen.  (I mean, between you and me, whoever else could possibly win this thang – thing?  Oh, you don’t have to answer that dear, as I know you are sweet and would never say a bad word about anyone.  But, if you did, you know it would never cross my lips.  But, I digress.)

The favor of a reply from you would be appreciated, as I am fairly busy trying to do this President thing between all my social engagements.  Don’t you worry one bit about your qualifications, as you are more than qualified for this appointment.  You are a most precious little Rattie, you have a wonderful sense of fashion and you are a Princess to boot.   My goodness, you may be over qualified!  

Most sincerely and faithfully your dear friend,

Katie Scarlett

P.S.  You may notice this is written in pink in honor of you.

My Dear Miss Katie Scarlett,

     I have seen your lovely campaign posters.  I must say that I find you to be a most fetching young lady.  Should I be so fortunate as to be elected  President, I would like to offer you the position of First Lady.  I would like you to know that as a multi-bullystickaire I would be able to keep you in the style to which you are accustomed as a fine southern belle.   I would be honored if you would accept this position as you were indeed born to be a great First Lady.  My fortune would be at your disposal.  If I may say so, the White House could use the touch of fine southern belle such as yourself.

I remain your most humble servant,

Marley--Lord Dunmore the Duke of Albemarle

(P. S.  I do hold an English title, however I was born in the United States and am eligible to run for the presidency.  You would become Lady Katie Scarlett the Duchess of Albemarle)

Dearest Marley,

I am so very honored and flattered by your request to be your First Lady, should you win the Presidency.  Mother keeps telling me I must understand that there are rules she has imposed that will keep me from winning this title, but I just say, “Fiddle-dee-dee to rules!”  In all modesty, I must admit I would make a stunning First Lady.  Not only am I full of charm and grace and would bring beauty to your White House, I am also a very fine Rat Terrier.  Why, do you know when I first came to live with my Mother and Father they were overrun with chipmunks?  Within the first few months, I had eradicated all of those little creatures.  And squirrels and moles also know not to enter the yard of Katie Scarlett!  There is so much more to me than a pretty face!  

So, in the event you win the Presidency, I would very much consider being your First Lady.  We still do need to get to know each other a bit better, don’t you think, my dear Marley (if I may be so bold as you refer to you in that way).  You are indeed a very handsome Rat Terrier and I do admire your latest campaign poster.  I was not at all surprised to learn you held the title of Lord, as you do indeed look like royalty in that photograph.   Lady Katie Scarlett the Duchess of Albemarle does have a nice sound to it.

In the meantime, I do hope you understand I will continue with my campaign.

Most sincerely yours,

Katie Scarlett

P.S.  Oh, and you did say multi-bullystickaire?

Oh my, Miss Princess Emma, I am so thrilled you have accepted.  I must do a press release right away.  Thank you, you precious little thing.  You are indeed cute!

Princess Emma Agrees to Serve as Secretary of Cuteness in KS Administration

I am so very happy to announce that I have received confirmation from little Miss Princess Emma that she has accepted my offer to be Secretary of Cuteness in my administration, should I win the Presidency of Rattie Land.  I think y’all all will agree that this is most exciting news.  For those of you that have been members of this site for a while, I do not have to list Miss Princess Emma’s qualifications.  For you newer members, I will use that old saying that “a picture is worth a thousand words”.

Also, I want to take this opportunity to state that rumors have been circulating since the Jamboree that I refused to have my photo taken with Miss Princess Emma and that is entirely untrue.  There just wasn’t an opportunity for a photo session, as I was quite busy playing at the Jamboree.  Let me make this perfectly clear – I did not refuse to have my photo taken with her because she made me look fat!

Thank you,

Katie Scarlett

My Dear Katie Scarlett,

     I thank you for your timely response to my letter.  I am pleased that you are giving my request consideration.  I completely understand your desire to continue your own campaign.  In fact, my dear Katie Scarlett, I must insist that you DO continue your run for the presidency.  I have always admired the combination of beauty, brains, and strength of character.  I must say, my dear, that you posess all of these traits.  I am pleased to read that you have eradicated the squirrels, chipmunks, and moles from your parent's plantation.  That shows great intelligence and dedication to duty befitting a true southern belle.  Should you become First Lady you would surely be the most charming, fashionable, and intelligent hostess in all the land.  I agree that we must take the time to get to know each other to see if this arrangement would be beneficial to us both.   Yes, I did mention that I am a multi-bullystickaire.  Through careful management my reserves continue to multiply and as stated they would be at your disposal. 

I remain your most humble servant,

Marley-Lord Dunmore the Duke of Albemarle 

"Fellow Ratties, I have been where you have been.  I know, it is difficult to believe, but my first owners gave me up.  I lived in a horrible shelter.  While I was there, I contracted the deadly Parvo Virus.  I survived this terrible disease and am now stronger than ever!  I want all Ratties in all economic classes to know that I have felt the pain you have felt.  I will represent you most accurately because I have lived the life of a sick shelter dog and I will strive to make shelter conditions better, and decrease disease. 

Although my beautiful ticking makes me distinguished and classy I wanted you all to know the truth about my past.  Thank you for your vote."

Trixi

This just in from the Ruffers News Agency:

     Presidential candidate Marley met today with several foreign heads of state.  Marley has clearly put both paws down and stated that he will continue his mandated policy on the deportation of ALL fleas and ticks as part of his efforts to end rat terrier rights abuse.  He has vowed to insure the quality production and equal distribution of bully sticks.  Marley has also pledged his continued support to increase the number of public restrooms for all rat terriers of the world.  When asked about his moratorium on baths and toenail clipping Marley stated, "Baths and toenail clipping are over rated.  I pledge to launch a presidential investigation into the saftey and efficacy of these societal constraints."

     After pausing to answer several questions posed by reporters Marley left the embassy and headed out to catch a ball game.  According to Yukon Cornelius, campaign manager, Marley will be attending a state dinner at the embassy this evening before boarding a flight home where he will continue his presidential campaign.   

My Dear Mr. Marley,

I am most impressed that you met with foreign dignitaries.  However did you communicate with them?  I find it hard to understand Boston terriers.

Sincerely your,

Katie Scarlett

Brielle says a vote for me, insures that there will be a bone in every crate, when a ratty has to be in their crate for an extended length of time, and that those extended lengths of time will be shortened to four hours a day, instead of ten. All ratties will have the freedom to chase squirrels, rabbits, rats, birds, etc, and not be thought of as cruel for having caught one of these creatures, but will be praised for doing what they have been born to do. I will insure these duties are carried out to the full extent of my capabilities. Which I am well qualified for, considering I am a sixth generation rattie, so I have a lot of experience in matters such as these, due to my fore fathers, and mothers, and brothers, and sisters. I would greatly appreciate your support, as I am determined to be the best rattie president there has ever been. Of course, if I am nominated, and should I accept the nomination, I will need a running mate. This running mate, will need to share the same rattie values as me, so together, we may carry out this very auspicious position, and make this country proud to be in such capable paws. Thank you for your most appreciated, consideration.

San Antonio Express News

Announced today, they have learned from an un-named source that not all Presidential Candidates are being honest. The source, who wishes to remained un-named at this time, states she has proof of one candidate offering unsolicited hugs and kisses, while another was disrespectful of elders.  “I’d like to see these campaigns run clean without any mud slinging, but certain facts are going to come to light.” Un-named source then added “I have pictures and can be bought.”

My Dear Katie Scarlett,

     I must admit that meeting with foreign heads of state is quite tedious, but someone has to stand up for rat terrier rights.  As for understanding all of the different languages I must admit that I use an interpreter.  My campaign manager, Youkon Cornelius, is fluent in several languages.  These meetings can be complicated so I am quite relieved to be back home. 

     While taking my morning constitutional I came upon a beautiful magnolia blossom. If I may be so forward as to say that its beauty is second only to you.  So, my dear Katie Scarlett, I am sending you a magnolia blossom.  I hope you enjoy it.  Every southern belle should be adorned with magnolias.

I remain your most humble servant.

Marley--Lord Dunmore the Duke of Albemarle

My Dear Marley,

I do believe you are tryin’ to flatter me into dropping out of this race.  My, my, surely you aren’t that worried about little ol’ me.  

“Flattery will get your everywhere”, but not there.

Faithfully yours,

Katie Scarlett

My Dear Katie Scarlett,

     I would never try to flatter you out of running for President.  I am too honorable to utilize such underpawed tactics and I realize that you would never fall for such a deceitful ploy as you are far too intelligent.  I would be greatly disappointed if you were to drop out of the race.  I look forward to the campaign trail ahead and the challenges presented by you and the other worthy adversaries.

I remain your most humble servant,

Marley--Lord Dunmore the Duke of Albemarle

Why of course you are honorable, my dear Marley.  And obviously intelligent, with extraordinarily good taste.   Fiddlee-dee-dee, I was just teasing with you!   The magnolia blossom is lovely.  Oh, and I am also quite fond of rhododendron.

A rhododendron for Katie Scarlett.  I took this photo while on an afternoon constitutional.

Your humble servant,

Marley--Lord Dunmore the Duke of Albemarle

Oh, I do so love a scandal (as long as I’m not in it)

K.S.  

Dear Mr. Murphy,

I am indeed happy to see you back.  I was worried that perhaps my amazing campaign skills had frightened you away.  Though I know that I am an overwhelming opponent, I would so hate to see you leave the site, as you seem to be a fine Rattie gentleman.  I will look forward to our continuing on with our campaign rivalry.  I hope you are ready for a very intense summer of campaigning.  I hope you won’t be too disappointed when I, shall we say, whip your derrière

Most sincerely,

Katie Scarlett

Miss Katie Scarlett,

I am indeed happy to be running in a race with someone of your demeanor.  But I say to you, "derrière!?" 

Miss Katie, this is America, and in America, we SPEAK AMERICAN!!! Not foo-fooie Frenchie!   Strong words and I will say them again... FOO-FOOIE.

• Yes, I pooped on the greenbelt in my subdivision. I know some are aghast at this, but who can argue that, when you gotta go, you gotta go? Surely, American doggidom can realize this was not imprudent so much as it was my manifesting a completely green, natural and organic process of fertilizing the grass!

•  Yes, I’ve been photographed with alcoholic beverages, but I tell you, I did not inhale! Er… drink, I mean!  To my opponents who would say otherwise, I say… prove it! (hic!)

• Yes, I’ve chewed on things. I’m not proud of this… shoes. Socks. Furniture. Bottles of bitter apple spray. But I have sought help and I am on a short leash indeed. Those days are behind me mostly and I won’t put many teeth marks on stuff in the Oval Office. 

• Yes, others have indicated I have had tawdry affairs with a Miss Daisy Dog. To that I say, “I gots nothin' down there! Nothin’! One day they was there, I go to the vet and go to sleep, and suddenly they is gone! I got no groceries in my bag so how can I fix a meal?”   If elected, I will get to the bottom of this outrage and bring the fiends to justice!
  
  Miss Daisy Dog could not be reached for comment.

This announcement brought to you by Americans For Cake Foundation.

• Yes, others have indicated I have had tawdry affairs with a Miss Daisy Dog. To that I say, “I gots nothin' down there! Nothin’! One day they was there, I go to the vet and go to sleep, and suddenly they is gone! I got no groceries in my bag so how can I fix a meal?”   If elected, I will get to the bottom of this outrage and bring the fiends to justice!
  
  Miss Daisy Dog could not be reached for comment.

This announcement brought to you by Americans For Cake Foundation.

                 Mitch! Too Funny!

(I mean Murphy!)                                                                    

Dear Mr. Murphy,

Well, being as my Mother taught me to be a southern lady, I would never use any other words to describe one’s posterior area.  I’m blushing at the thought.

Now, regarding your mea culpa – chewing sock, drinking, ho hum – but the tawdry affair?  Now I’m thinking we need to hear more details on that matter.

K.S.

Scandal emerges!  One of the candidates is caught at a seedy establishment!  Who could it be?

This newsworthy announcement brought to you by the Americans for Cake Foundation.