Katie'sMom
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| 04/23/2007 4:07 PM |
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Just can't get my mother off my mind today. I suppose it is because today is the anniversary of my cancer surgery and that is so tied into her illness and death. She had her first stroke and I went to Atlanta to see her in the hospital. Came home for Easter weekend (I was Altar Guild director at our church and had a ton of responsibilties with the services) only to find "the lump". I knew I had to see a doctor right away and postponed going back on Monday to see the doctor. I didn't make it back anytime soon. I was diagnosed and whisked into surgery. I went back for a visit before chemo and tried to go during chemo. (She had a second stroke). It became too much for me and I planned on not going back until the end of November, when I stopped chemo, unless she took a turn for the worse. She didn't, she just died the morning of November 4 -- two weeks before the completion of my chemo. I never got to say goodbye.
My mother was (and is) my hero. I won't go into all the trials and tribulations of her life -- but let me assure you, she was one tough cookie. And, through it all, she never lost her sense of humor. She was my beach buddy, loved animals just as I do, and oh how we loved to debate. Heck, sometimes we'd take opposite sides of an issue just to have a good debate. Then one of us would laugh and say "you know, I really agree with you -- but that was a dang good argument!" She was a very good equestrian and I seem to be the only one of her children to inherit that love for horses --- so another thing we had in common.
She gave me her copy of GWTW (another love in common) that she got in 1937. Below are some photos. I will treasure it alway - and is probably another reason I love the book so much!
Well, I'm crying now -- they are bittersweet tears. My mother has been dead almost 14 years and I still miss her to this day. The Kentucky Derby has never been the same! The first year after her death, Randy and I watched the Derby. When it was over I started crying. He asked me what was wrong and I replied, "the phone didn't ring." You see, my mother would call me the minute the Derby was over and we would rehash the race. Mama, you're the greatest! |
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Katie'sMom
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| 04/23/2007 4:07 PM |
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PamWh
Rattitude Problem
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| 04/23/2007 4:17 PM |
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| Your mom sounds like she was a great lady. I know what you mean about the grief coming back unexpectedly. My dad died 9 years ago on March 9. I normally don't think of him all that often, but a song came on the radio the other day while I was driving to work and it reminded me of him. I had to repair my makeup as soon as I got to work. And Jan, I consider myself lucky to have been by his bedside during his last moments. Dang, now I'm crying too. |
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PamWh
aka Bob's Mom
If your rattie ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! |
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mario07
Bratty Ratty
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| 04/23/2007 4:25 PM |
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| Wow. I'm crying now... I've lost and have had moments too where the tears come out of nowhere, but I'm happy to have loved them. I love that you have that book. It is truly special. ((hugs)) |
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~~Shannon, Mario and Pepper's mom!~~
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Apollo's Mommy
Feisty
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| 04/23/2007 5:31 PM |
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| Jan, your book is beautiful! I'm glad you and your mom were so close... you are a very lucky person to have had such a wonderful mother. My mother and I don't get along very well and probably talk once a month... if that much! It's nice to hear that you have something of her's that is soooo special. xoxoxo |
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"You can't fix stupid." - Ron White
~ Jolene ~
Mommy to Apollo, Emma, & Indie
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Bama's Mom 1
Terrier Terror
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| 04/23/2007 5:52 PM |
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| Oh Jan, what sweet memories you have. It's wonderful that you have so many special memories of your mother. So many times, it is the "little" things, like the call after the Derby, that we miss the most. |
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Trina, mom to Ali & Bama
" ... work can wait another 30 minutes. There are more important things to do. Like throwing sticks."
www.trina4ua.blogspot.com |
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Yatta&DeBo
Rattie
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| 04/23/2007 5:54 PM |
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| Jan I understand!!!!! SOmetimes i have to walk out of the kitchen in the middle of a meal cus i just remember my mom sitting at the kitche table teling me how to make it so i could make sure i was "husband - worthy" I know it sounds kinda archaic..but that was my mom lol she was old skool to a tee..but hold your head high and remember those times cus people like us are so lucky to have something to remember and hold on to! Congratulations on being a survivor- i had to deal wiht not being able to say goodbye to my mom and I just had to accept the fact that she understood..i know my mom forgives and it's that thought that allowed me to forgive myself..there's so many other areas of her life that i didn't miss out on..ya know? MYlove and prayers are with us all in these times that seem to capture our hearts..we are a parent's keeper! Their memories as well as all they lived for is continued within us all..we have to make sure that we prove ourselves worthy vessels.. |
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There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
Bern Williams
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DaisysMom
Moderator
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| 04/23/2007 5:55 PM |
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| Now I have tears. It's wonderful though that you and your mother were so close and had a great relationship, Jan. When I was young, I thought "better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" was stupid. I now know better. |
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Tracey - Darlin' Daisy's Mom
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Brandy
Firehouse Big Dog
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| 04/23/2007 6:49 PM |
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| OK, now I'm really crying! I luv you Jan...I will say a prayer for you tonight! |
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PROUD Home Visit Coordinator for Ratbone's Rescue!!
This is Pirate Country, we bleed Purple and Gold!!!!!
GO ECU!!! |
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bratt
Firehouse Big Dog
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| 04/23/2007 6:53 PM |
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| Jan, always treasure the time you had with your Mom. Thanks for sharing this. |
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Debra~KSSM Queen II
Savanna~Princess Easy Street
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Pamiknows
Rat-A-Tat-Tat
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| 04/23/2007 7:10 PM |
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Jan, you know what?? You can tell what a wonderfully special person your mama was. She raised you to be the beautiful, loving, intelligent, giving woman that you are. She instilled things in you that you saw and cherished in her. She made you the special woman that you are today and I would like to thank her for having raised you to be who you are. My trusted friend. She had to be one special lady!! And so are you.  |
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/pamiknows/
Somedays it's just not worth chewing thru the restraints.
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Katie'sMom
Newbie
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| 04/23/2007 7:31 PM |
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Posted By Pamiknows on 04/23/2007 7:10 PM Jan, you know what?? You can tell what a wonderfully special person your mama was. She raised you to be the beautiful, loving, intelligent, giving woman that you are. She instilled things in you that you saw and cherished in her. She made you the special woman that you are today and I would like to thank her for having raised you to be who you are. My trusted friend. She had to be one special lady!! And so are you.
Wow, Pami. Now I'm crying again. It's been an emotional day for me for some reason. Well, tomorrow, hopefully I will sleep most of it away! Love you too, friend! |
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Pamiknows
Rat-A-Tat-Tat
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| 04/23/2007 7:36 PM |
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Posted By Katie'sMom on 04/23/2007 7:31 PM
Posted By Pamiknows on 04/23/2007 7:10 PM Jan, you know what?? You can tell what a wonderfully special person your mama was. She raised you to be the beautiful, loving, intelligent, giving woman that you are. She instilled things in you that you saw and cherished in her. She made you the special woman that you are today and I would like to thank her for having raised you to be who you are. My trusted friend. She had to be one special lady!! And so are you. Wow, Pami. Now I'm crying again. It's been an emotional day for me for some reason. Well, tomorrow, hopefully I will sleep most of it away! Love you too, friend!
Aww I didn't mean to make you cry again!! I just luv ya is all!! I will be thinking about you all day tomorrow. How are we supposed to find out that everything is over and done and that you are ok??? Can anybody email me or anything?? |
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/pamiknows/
Somedays it's just not worth chewing thru the restraints.
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Katie'sMom
Newbie
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| 04/23/2007 7:56 PM |
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| I'll ask Randy to email you when we get home -- now don't worry if it's late, OK? |
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Nat
Rat-A-Tat-Tat
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| 04/23/2007 8:00 PM |
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AWW..Jan. This thread was so sweet. And I'm also very worried about you tomorrow...even though I know that everything willl be just fine..and hopefully you will start feeling good again.
Love you! |
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xoxo,
-Nat
http://www.NatInAustin.com
http://www.myspace.com/cookieinaustin
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rattytatty
Newbie
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| 04/23/2007 10:38 PM |
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| Nice words about an obviously wonderful woman. Made me think a lot about my own mother and the beautiful relationship we've had for 56 years. My dad is gone, hubby's parents are gone.... so I hold on for dear life (literally) to the woman who has been my role model for as long as I can remember. Good luck with your surgery tomorrow... I'm sure all will go well. I've known several who have had sinus surgery, and they said it's not terribly bad... assuming you'll feel better soon! |
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talleysmom
Ratastic
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| 04/23/2007 10:55 PM |
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| You are so strong to share such a personal thing with us .... i will be praying for peace in your heart tonight... |
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Sassy'sMama
Firehouse Big Dog
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| 04/24/2007 3:00 AM |
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Jan what is the "M" connection here? I am hearing the name Mary.......
I didn't really read all the posts after the pix of the book..
I just hear the name Mary is a very strong female voice... |
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~~Jan~~
Mama to Sassy
www.marykay.com/janetkimberlin
(free shipping) |
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Katie'sMom
Newbie
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| 04/24/2007 6:29 AM |
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Posted By Sassy'sMama on 04/24/2007 3:00 AM
Jan what is the "M" connection here? I am hearing the name Mary.......
I didn't really read all the posts after the pix of the book..
I just hear the name Mary is a very strong female voice...
Aside from the M's in Margaret and Mitchell --well, Mary specifically? My mother's first pony was named Mary. She said my granddaddy could stand straddle her, she was so tiny. |
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Lucy's mom
Rat Royalty
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| 04/24/2007 7:14 AM |
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Wow Jan, What beautiful memories you have of your mom. I was real close to my Dad, and I still miss him and wish I could talk to him every day. It has been 19 years since he died. We did auctions, antique hunting, flea marketing and about everything else together. He died at 60 , and it just wasn't enough time with him. Keep thinking the good thoughts and memories and let the rest go. Don't let things you can't change get in the way of the great things you did with each other and the closesness you had with each other.
I think about my Dad every day and it's ALL GOOD. |
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My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet. Edith Wharton
There will always be a lost little dog somewhere that will prevent me from being happy. Jean Anouilb |
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Mitzy's Mom
PAWesome
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| 04/24/2007 7:53 AM |
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| Thanks for sharing your mom with us, Jan. She sounds very much like you! I'm glad you had such a close relationship with her, that's a precious thing. |
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Mary Beth, mom to the Lollipop Kids
Georgia Foster Mom, New Rattitude
at www.newrattitude.org
Pics of my current fosters:
http://imageevent.com/newrattitude/caradoc
http://imageevent.com/newrattitude/willow
http://imageevent.com/newrattitude/fiona
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erniebenernie
Bratty Ratty
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| 04/24/2007 9:50 AM |
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Thanks for sharing your story Jan. It makes me think of the relationship with my mother and how it can be a struggle sometimes. She is also a tough cookie. My father died when I was 29, he was the calming soul of the two of them. My mother is fighting cancer and I want to be everything to her but sometimes she makes it difficult.
That's why your story is even more special, Your fortunate to have these memories, I'm thinking of you today! |
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Vicki
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