PamWh
Rattitude Problem
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| 06/12/2007 10:37 AM |
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This is my new strategy for my job at Target. I made the mistake of leaving a list of things we were out of for my supervisor to order. Now he expects this all the time and won't order anything unless I mention it. I got to work yesterday evening and found a note from him asking me to make a list of things for him to order. I just wrote on the note that I didn't have time to get to it. 
Anyone else have examples of times they have been passive/agressive? Tell me I'm not the only person who is this way!   |
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PamWh
aka Bob's Mom
If your rattie ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! |
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SuperJohn
Rat Royalty
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| 06/12/2007 10:45 AM |
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wow hes just like shiloh she is now aggresive around new people and she was not before she was ran over |
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superjohn&shiloh |
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Apollo's Mommy
Feisty
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| 06/12/2007 10:47 AM |
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| No, you're not the only person this way. I can be this way. And I know lots of people that are this way too! |
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"You can't fix stupid." - Ron White
~ Jolene ~
Mommy to Apollo, Emma, & Indie
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erniebenernie
Bratty Ratty
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| 06/13/2007 9:13 AM |
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This so caught my eye Pam. I worked for someone I considered P/A. The thing is, you never never saw her get mad. She just tortured us with her "get her way" attitude. What you did was perfect, don't let someone run all over you.
With who I'm talking about, she would never have written back like you did. She would have ignored his note, acted like she never saw it (deer in the headlight look) and complained immensely if something wasn't ordered, because of course, she didn't or wouldn't have known it needed to be ordered. She was a Master at it... |
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Vicki
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PamWh
Rattitude Problem
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| 06/13/2007 9:28 AM |
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Here's another example of my passive/agressiveness. Hubby, two sons, and I were at IHOP for breakfast one morning. The waitress was very attentive to hubby and oldest son....refilling their coffee, asking if there was anything else they needed, etc. She pretended not to hear me when I asked for more iced tea. The next time she came back to our table, I told hubby (right in front of her) to please ask her to refill my tea glass since she obviously couldn't hear a female voice. She looked at me like she hadn't seen me before and hadn't realized I was sitting at the table! Hubby is bigger than me, but not that much bigger.  |
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PamWh
aka Bob's Mom
If your rattie ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! |
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rattytatty
Newbie
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| 06/13/2007 9:30 AM |
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| Define "passive/aggressive" please? From reading this I'm not sure I've got it in context ?? |
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erniebenernie
Bratty Ratty
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| 06/13/2007 9:38 AM |
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I know what your saying.
Now with P/A woman, she would have made her feeling known but not like you think. She would have said for one thing "I NEED" (her favorite words). Plus, she would have found a way to TORTURE the waitress. This could be done in one of several ways. The fork is dirty, "I NEED" another one, Could you wipe the table, there's a spill, my food is cold, the orders wrong, the glass is dirty. You get the idea. Her passive aggressive nature would have the waitress wishing she never got out of bed... |
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Vicki
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rattytatty
Newbie
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| 06/13/2007 9:39 AM |
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| Is that kinda like hubby.... when we get poor service, he says "WOW... this would be a great place to start a restaurant!" ??? |
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erniebenernie
Bratty Ratty
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| 06/13/2007 9:42 AM |
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Posted By rattytatty on 06/13/2007 9:30 AM
Define "passive/aggressive" please? From reading this I'm not sure I've got it in context ??
You're right, it's confusing. I only know it from the master P/A I worked with. I could never put my finger on her behavior until someone put a label on it. Aggressive with a passive attutude.
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Vicki
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rattytatty
Newbie
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| 06/13/2007 9:44 AM |
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Ok... I looked it up.... here's what I found....
PAPD patients characteristically procrastinate, resist demands for adequate performance, find excuses for delays, and find fault with those on whom they depend; yet they refuse to extricate themselves from the dependent relationships. They usually lack assertiveness and are not direct about their own needs and wishes. They fail to ask needed questions about what is expected of them and may become anxious when forced to succeed or when their usual defense of turning anger against themselves is removed.
In interpersonal relationships, these people attempt to manipulate themselves into a position of dependence, but others often experience this passive, self-detrimental behavior as punitive and munipulative. People with this disorder expect others to do their errands and to carry out their routine responsibilities. Friends and clinicians may become enmeshed in trying to assuage the patients' many claims of unjust treatment. The close relationships of people with PAPD, however, are rarely tranquil or happy. Because they are bound to their resentment more closely than to their satisfaction, they may never even formulate goals for finding enjoyment in life. People with this disorder lack self-confidence and are typically pessimistic about the future.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... I don't think I'm this way? Pam... I don't think you are either !
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PamWh
Rattitude Problem
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| 06/13/2007 9:47 AM |
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| Maybe I'm using the wrong term then. Maybe I'm just standing up for myself? What a novel idea! |
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PamWh
aka Bob's Mom
If your rattie ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! |
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erniebenernie
Bratty Ratty
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| 06/13/2007 9:58 AM |
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Posted By rattytatty on 06/13/2007 9:44 AM
Ok... I looked it up.... here's what I found....
PAPD patients characteristically procrastinate, resist demands for adequate performance, find excuses for delays, and find fault with those on whom they depend; yet they refuse to extricate themselves from the dependent relationships. They usually lack assertiveness and are not direct about their own needs and wishes. They fail to ask needed questions about what is expected of them and may become anxious when forced to succeed or when their usual defense of turning anger against themselves is removed.
In interpersonal relationships, these people attempt to manipulate themselves into a position of dependence, but others often experience this passive, self-detrimental behavior as punitive and munipulative. People with this disorder expect others to do their errands and to carry out their routine responsibilities. Friends and clinicians may become enmeshed in trying to assuage the patients' many claims of unjust treatment. The close relationships of people with PAPD, however, are rarely tranquil or happy. Because they are bound to their resentment more closely than to their satisfaction, they may never even formulate goals for finding enjoyment in life. People with this disorder lack self-confidence and are typically pessimistic about the future.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... I don't think I'm this way? Pam... I don't think you are either !
No not our Pam! The explaination here does not describe the aggressive portion as well as the passive. I'm not an expert, just find the behavior interesting.
Pam, I think what you describe is trying to be heard and helpful without being taken advantage of.
Thinking only of woman P/A..We would have to do her errands and get her lunch because of course it wasn't her fault she didn't make her own.
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Vicki
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PamWh
Rattitude Problem
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| 06/13/2007 10:00 AM |
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| I'm finally starting to stand up for myself instead of quietly fuming and feeling hurt and used. But is it passive/agressive to wait until hubby goes to the kitchen to ask him to bring you a drink and a snack? Or is that just laziness? |
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PamWh
aka Bob's Mom
If your rattie ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! |
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erniebenernie
Bratty Ratty
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| 06/13/2007 10:09 AM |
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Standing up for ourselves is a big thing isn't it? How old do we have to be to say "enough" I'm sure we can all tell stories of how someone didn't notice we were even in the room.
And that's not laziness girl....That's SMART workin for ya!!! LOL! |
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Vicki
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