THE YEAR'S BEST (actual!)HEADLINES
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
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Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
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Miners Refuse to Work
after Death
Those good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!
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Juvenile Court to Try
Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya' think?!
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Cold Wave Linked to
Temperatures
Who would have thought!
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Enfield Couple Slain;
PoliceSuspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
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Man Struck By Lightning:
Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
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Astronaut Takes Blame for
Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chain-saw Massacre all over again!
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Hospitals are Sued by
7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
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