You wake up face down on the pavement.

You put your bra on backward and it fits better.

You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.

Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

You turn on the news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.

You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize you don't have a waterbed.

Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.

Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

Your boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat.

The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

You walk to work and find out later that your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/ex-husband.

Your income tax check bounces.

You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

Your pet rock snaps at you.

Your wife says "Good Morning, Bill" and your name is George.